Female Libido Is A Complex Issue

Female libido is not a taboo subject anymore. Times are changing. As we women become more open about vaginal health issues, we have also come to realize that our libido plays an important role in our overall physical, psychological and emotional health.

Libido, which is the drive or desire to have sex, varies with every woman. Some women may have a very strong sex drive, while for others it may be more subdued. Some of us may find that our once high libido has waned and we have lost interest in sex.

A woman’s sex drive or lack of it is a serious matter. It could mean all the difference in her relationship, if her desire cannot match her husband’s or partner’s. Relationship problems often occur when the sex sizzles out.

Low female libido is a very complex issue and is heavily influenced by many factors in a woman’s life. The good news is, if you can identify the causes of low libido in your life, then you can quite easily address the causes and turn the situation around.

I have listed down some of the common causes of low female libido and suggest ways to overcome them. Being women, I am sure one or more of the circumstances mentioned below do apply in our lives.


Stress is probably the number one sex drive killer in a woman’s life. We have to deal with so many challenges in our daily lives, both at work and at home that stress has become a permanent condition. From the moment we wake up to the time we fall exhausted on the bed, we are constantly thinking, planning, working, multi-tasking and worrying.

In the midst of all this, how can we feel sexy? It is no wonder that we have no mood for sex.

Stress also affects a woman’s hormones. When we are stressed, our bodies produce a hormone called cortisol which has an impact on the levels of testosterone and vaginal estrogen. When the level of these two hormones dips, our desire for sex also decrease.

So, what can we do to reduce stress? Well, having sex is the answer. Sex relieves stress, but how can we have sex when we are stressed. It is a real Catch-22 situation, right?

You can try relaxing and calming activities like yoga, meditation and taking a warm soak in the tub. Most important thing is to set aside a quiet time with your spouse – talking and cuddling with each other or give each other a massage.

Have date nights and romantic dinners with a glass of red wine. Women who drink a glass of red wine daily reported higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication.

Red wine's high levels of polyphenols, a type of antioxidant, may help blood vessels widen, thus increasing blood flow to the vagina.

Stick to one glass though, as anything more may extinguish your desire.

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Relationship Problems

This is the most obvious cause of low female libido or even male libido. You will be surprised that a lot of couples try not to confront the problems in their relationships. The issues can range from old or simmering arguments, lack of communication and intimacy and emotional distancing.

You don’t have to be fighting to have relationship problems. If you are not talking to each other and are not enjoying each others' company, then you certainly won’t be having sex.

To reignite the passion, the two of you need to acknowledge the issues in your relationship. You need to talk openly and honestly about the problems before you can get your sex drive in gear again.

Alcohol, drugs and smoking

While the movies and TV shows that it is cool for women to drink and smoke, these two habits are in fact bad for a woman’s libido. No doubt that alcohol can lower your inhibitions, but it can also numb your sex drive, senses and responses. Smoking, on the other hand, affects blood flow to vessels that are involved in sexual intercourse.

Many recreational drugs have effects that are similar to alcohol. Marijuana, amphetamines (speed, crystal meth) and opiates (heroin, cocaine) not only reduce libido, but cause vaginal dryness in women which leads to painful intercourse.

Indulge in your drinking and smoking habits on social occasions and stay away from drugs. You will not only have a healthy sex drive but good overall health too.

Low libido can be very frustrating and so few women have the courage to ask for help. But if you know what is causing it, you are on your way to addressing the issues. And if you are reluctant to talk about it, then sexual desire boosters which you can use in the privacy of your home can be a good solution.

If the above are not causes for your lack of libido, then maybe the issues discussed in my libido menopause and low sex drive article could help to shed some light.

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